Modeling

One sad thing as a parent is hearing your kids fighting and realizing their tone of voice sounds just like you. A bit unsettling. Many times I would say, "Hey, can't you say that a bit nicer?" And then turn around and talk just like I told them not to. The hardest thing for most people is changing their tones or the way they say things. One of the benefits of applying the L and L techniques is that your kids really start sounding like you. Just in the last few weeks, I have heard Tyson using every technique that we have used on him. First example, he usually gives his friend a ride home on his bike. Last week the friend thought that Tyson was leaving him and went up and started choking him. Tyson got away and said, "I give kids a ride home that don't choke me" He left his friend to walk home all by himself. He's starting to use these "I" statements all the time with everyone, even us. When Hailee is crying for something he has he'll say, "Hailee, I give kids my things when they aren't crying" And she stops! :) A whole lot more affective than "HAILEE, STOP CRYING!!!" While at church, Hailee had a snack and Tyson wanted some. She was not willing to share, so he said, "Hailee, would you like to put one in my right hand or my left?" She chose the right hand. The next week at church, Tyson asked me to rub his feet. I said "Not here" and he said, "Mom, would you rather rub my feet with my socks on, or with my socks off?" Funny! And I ended up choosing "on". Last night he was in trouble and didn't get to have ice cream with the rest of the family and said we were the meanest parents ever. Later that night, we were talking about something and I said, "Tyson, you're going to be a good dad." He said, " I know I am, because I'm going to be just like dad." (sigh)

Scared to Death

Tyson LOVES to scare us. It seems like every time we walk in the door, he jumps out of somewhere and scares us. He knows not to scare me, because it hurts my heart, and of course I get kinda mad. I don't like to be scared okay??? Anyway, every once in a while Steve will scare him. Usually he's okay and laughs it off, but tonight he got him good. They were taking out the trash cans and Steve ducked behind the bushes. Tyson noticed he was gone and started coming back to get him when Steve jumped out of the bushes like a gorilla and scared him so bad he said he about passed out. He even shed some tears and he decided he was going to get Steve back. So I gave him a plan I thought would work. Steve tucked the kids in and went to the office to work on the computer, so I went and got Tyson, put some nylons on his head and snuck him out the back door. I went to the office to see this pan out. I saw Tyson come around to the window and he started banging on the window so hard Steve jumped out of his seat yelling. When he realized it was Tyson, he about collapsed. He didn't know what was going on. He said he heard the bang and turned and saw this little person with a black head. The sound didn't match what he pictured and he thought "WEIRD!!!" He about had a heart attack. Tyson felt a lot better after that. We all laughed so hard. I had no idea it would work so well, and now I'm sooooo mad I didn't video that!

Follow Up

Picked up #1 and neighbor friend yesterday from school. As I dropped off neighbor friend, I mentioned that #1 won't be able to play.
#1: "Why not?"
Mom: "Why do you think?"
#1: "I don't know"
Mom: "You may play with friends when I don't worry about you calling me stupid"
#1: "You don't have to worry about that! I won't do it again!"
Mom: "But I still do, so until then, no friends. :) So do you want to do your homework first, or eat a snack?"
#1: "Eat a snack"
(like how I got his mind off the fight?) This is fun, it's like magic. I might even pull this out one more day. If I feel like really being mean, I could call #1 friends mom and explain the situation and ask her to call after school to see if #1 can play just so I can say it again. :) Parenting is so much fun.

Okay, that really worked...#1 friends mom called and I was so sad to tell them that #1 could not play today.
#1: "MOM, I WAS KIDDDDDING!!!"
Mom: "Nice try hunny, hey there's always tomorrow. We'll have to see :)"

The end.

L and L

Steve and I have been studying Love and Logic parenting for a few years. Well, we have finally bit the bullet and are getting trained to be Love and Logic facilitators. (Steve mainly)--I have enough to do :)
Since we have been studying and applying these methods, it has brought such peace to our home. 3 years ago I was screaming at my kids a lot, and having anxiety attacks, and seriously depressed because I felt like I was a horrible mother and nothing was going my way. Oh, and I had stupid tumors in my arm that kept coming back. So life was a little stressful. I was even taking anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds to help, but all it did was make me more tired, and unfeeling. Then someone told me about Love and Logic. I started checking the books out from the library. Steve was going to school for child development at the time and we just started eating it up. It has taken a while to change how we speak to our kids, but now most of the time, we find ourselves laughing because when we say things right, it works so easily and effortlessly. So, every once in a while, I would like to share stories of everyday situations and how I am applying this. I don't handle it perfectly all the time, but I am getting better- and I feel more calm, patient and like I am a fun mom again. (actually, I don't know if I ever was until now)
Here's a good one from today:
I'm skipping through the stuff that led up to...
Child #1 punches child#2 because #2 won't share the last of the waffles.
Mom: "Oh, this is so sad. I can't help you now"
#1: "Now I have nothing to eat!"
Mom: "Well, there are a few cereal choices, or bagels, or toast. Which one would you like?"
#1: "Nothing, I want waffles"
Mom: "So sorry :("
#1: "You're so stupid mom! Why don't you use your brain?"
(Now, at this point, how many of us would SO like to start yelling, grounding, slapping, throwing them in their room???- The old me would have done all that!)
Mom: "Wow, that was kinda sad!"
#1: "I'm not going to SCHOOL either!!!"
(Can you tell #1 was just looking for a fight?)
Mom: "Well, that's not really a choice, but you do have a choice about how you would like to go to school. You can go in your pajamas, or you can go in school clothes. You can also go to school hungry, or you can go full. Lots of choices!" (I walked out of the room so he could think.)
#1 goes to kitchen and gets some cereal. I leave him alone. I'm doing #2's hair and I hear #1 practicing piano. (bonus! I thought that would go out the door)
Mom: "Time to go to school!"
#2 gets to ride bike to school with friends, #1 gets to ride with mom :)
#1: "Why do I have to go in the car?"
Mom: "Well, kids who call their mom 'stupid' get to ride in the car with her. :)"
#1 hugs mom as she drops off to school and leaves with a smile.
Relationship still in tact??? I think so!
#1 might get upset again when he/she gets home and asks to play with friends today and I say, "Oh sweety, I'll let you play with friends when I don't have to worry about being called 'stupid'." (...Let ya know how that one pans out.)

Halloween Festivities

This year Sadie and Tyson were able to carve their own pumpkins. They did a pretty good job. So sad I never got a picture of the finished product!

"Look mom, I'm getting dirty and I'm okay!"
Halloween Party at Grandma/Grandpa Whitings

Harry Potter doing some spells
Princess Hailee- "Belle"

Tyson's school parade

Sadie and her classmates watching the parade
Halloween night

Where did we get our costumes? Oh, I wish I could say that I spent hours making them, but lucky for me I have a friend who sells/rents costumes. She has saved me so many times! I love not having to store costumes my kids are only going to wear once! Check out her website next time you need a costume! enchantedwardrobecostumes.com

Tyson's stash

Maui, Hawaii

Way back in January, I won a weeks stay in Maui. We finally were able to go a couple weeks ago. My mom, and Steve's family juggled our kids for the week. So we were able to go just the two of us. I put the whole album on facebook with explanations of each picture, but here are a few of my favorites.

Maui is as green as you can imagine
with many natural wonders.

We took a ton of hikes, here is one that led down to this blowhole. The ocean was angry this day.
We took a scenic/adventurous road trip to Hana.

with many waterfalls

Just "Drinkin it in"

Fresh water caves

Here is a part of the Seven Sacred Pools, where a fall leads to a pool and then another fall into a pool etc. until it went into the ocean. We were able to swim in these pools. I don't think I ever imagined being able to do this.

Loved the 3 bold colors here. Black, Green and Blue!

After snorkeling we had worked up an appetite and found a coconut, so Steve busted it open with a rock. I was quite impressed. I think I'd be okay stranded on an island with him.

Most of the time we were out body surfing or snorkeling, so only a few times was I able to bust out a book. I was able to read 2 books with all the travel time. "The Brothers" and "The Peacegiver"- both awesome books fyi
Would you ever get tired of looking at this scene?

One of the last days we went on a snorkeling excursion to two sites, Molikini, and Lanai

Steve down under

We had an underwater camera, and I was so glad that we could take these pictures. The fish were in every color, and luckily there weren't any sharks that we could see. :)

Our last night

Last sunset

ooooh steamy :)

And they lived happily ever after...until they came back to reality. :) J/k reality is not bad, it's just not Hawaii.

September

I haven't been able to get onto my blog for a while. I finally found a backdoor, so here are some...

Random pictures from September:

We had our first Norm and Sheri Whiting family reunion in Sept. It was super fun. My sister Lori blogged all about it, you can check her blog out. :) Here are all the grandkids minus a few babies.

Next, Daddy daughter campout

Steve was camping for a strait 6 weekends in a row with ward campouts, daddy daughter, family reunions, and finally Wood Badge. He went up with Dave Haynes, and Mitch Bogle and had the time of their life.

We welcomed two new family pets TeeCup and KC- Dwarf Hampsters

And we welcome Scorpy and her 15 babies, and two of her friends. We hope all is doing well with them...HA! These were captured by Tyson and his friends in our woodpile out back. They caught them with plyers and put them in this jar to keep as pets! Aaaah!Lori came to town for her 10 year reunion. Sadie had fun learning how to take care of a baby, and is now okay that we aren't having any more :)

Hailee and her most "favoritest" cousin Savannah

Me and my most Favoritest sister Lori

Tyson and Hailee saying goodbye

Here is Tyson and Steve at Pack meeting. These guys were made for scouting. :)

And last random pic...

For Hailee's birthday, I took her to get her first manicure. She didn't enjoy that at all. :) J/K

Maui pictures to come...

Hosting Love and Logic

Hello you 5 people who read my blog! :) I thought I would post this and you can let people know who might be interested...

I am going to be hosting a Love and Logic 4 week course at my home. If you are not familiar with this method of parenting, check out http://www.loveandlogic.com/.

My little blib about this method is...It has changed my life! I look at parenting in a whole new way. And when I do it right, it is a whole lot easier, and fun. If you are interested, or have questions, leave a comment with your email and I will contact you. The presenter is an aunt of my sister Lori. She is awesome and has been doing this for years. We are only accepting 10 couples, so call me or email me soon if you are interested!

Here's the info:

SHEILA TOOLSON
Independent “Becoming a Love and Logic Parent” Facilitator
presents:

Parenting With Love and Logic:
Strategies for Raising Responsible Kids

Love and Logic is a philosophy founded by Jim Fay and Foster W. Cline, M.D., and is based on the experience of a combined total of over 75 years working with and raising kids. It provides simple and practical techniques to help parents and teachers have less stress and more fun while raising responsible kids. Love and Logic offers many useful techniques that parents and teachers can begin experimenting with immediately.

Love and Logic is easy to use, raises responsible kids, and changes lives.

Four Week Course:
(Tuesdays- 6:30 p.m. – 9:00 p.m.)
Fall Session: September 8th – September 29th
At the home of Steve and Jenny Smith

Price: $150/couple or

$100/person

Call to reserve your spot

1st Day of Horror

Today started out like any first day of school, actually better because I actually got up before my kids and made french toast and woke them up sweetly, blah blah blah. I was on a role, felt relaxed. It was going to be a great day, full of grocery shopping, and hanging out with Hailee. I drop the kids off at school, early :) Hailee has been begging me to take her to the park, and well it is only 89 degrees, so not to horribly bad, I'll sit in the shade. We go to the park. My friend is at the park with her 3 year old twins. I want to help her out, so I offer to watch her boys and I offer to bring them home when we are done playing. Friend is happy. While kids are happily playing I remember I have to return a call. A little later Hailee says she has to go to the bathroom, so I figure it's a good time to go, so I call for the boys and start to put Hailee in the car. Hey Aaron, where's Ben? "He walked that way" (Toward the school) OH MY GOSH!
I sprint across the field, and he is no where! I call his mom, and tell her that I can't find her son. She hangs up and is on her way, I run back and get the kids in my car and drive around the school to see if he is walking around the neighborhood. I am literally praying out loud. Then I call the front office to see if they happen to have a lost boy. Some guy on a bike found him walking and brought him there. 'Relief' doesn't even give my feelings justice. I am bawling and shaking at the thought of losing a child not to mention someone else's child. I finally find my friend who is bawling and give her Ben. She had called the police to help us find Ben, so we have to let the police know everything is okay. I had to admit to the policeman that I was on a phone call and wasn't paying attention. And then get mildly scolded. "Do you have other children?" Shocked that this would even happen... "You have to be careful, there are bad guys out there" Oh I feel so stupid! I don't think I have ever been so scared in my entire life!
Later that day, after laying down for a bit to calm down, I go outside and get my mail. My first ever speeding ticket! Kinda sad...I've never been pulled over, and they flashed my picture on my way back from the cabin...Darn STAR VALLEY! $187.00! This day is getting better and better. I went and laid down again. I'm waiting for 3:00 to come so I can get my kids from school. Hopefully they have some exciting news to cheer me up a bit. I drive on down the road at 2:55 and here they come, walking down the road, almost home. What the??? How did you get here so fast? "Mom, you are sooooo late!" What? It's not even 3:00 yet. Did you get out early and they not tell me? I am utterly confused. I go home look in their bags for paper work and find the times. OHHHH, it's Wednesday, you got out at 2:20????? You waited a half an hour for me???
Can I just go to bed now and start over tomorrow? I quit! But please first, will you nominate me for worst mother of the year?

Week at the Homestead

All summer the kids begged to go to the homestead. Finally, we were able to get away for a whole week. Steve met up with us that weekend. Ashley (SIL) mentioned to me that the night before they left the cabin, they discovered a big mouse and tried to get it out of the cabin, but couldn't and left traps. She told me I could find a dead one, or it could still be wandering around. I hoped it was gone, but as I walked in the cabin, a yucky smell was there and my kids had to use the bathroom so bad so I went into the bathroom and thought, "Nice, someone left something in the toilet!" On go the lights and surprisingly, I didn't scream :) I was quite relieved that I wasn't going to have to find or kill a rat. It killed itself.

Can you say "RATAPOOEEEE?"

After getting a man to fish that out, I had some sanitizing to do! Bathroom, counters, tables, cupboards. I don't think it was wandering that long. It even got into it's own box of poison that it probably did the first night it was stuck in there, lucky for me. :)

Up to the rope swing

Hailee can finally swing with a little help from big sister

Nature walk

Take time to smell the flowers

And ride the bull

Meet some new cousins, go crawdad fishing

Put on a play
Catch some more crawdads
Go take a hike

Rest and check on dad

Hailee's quite the hiker, she beat us all up the mountain

Sadie, making it to the top

Sadie and cousin Dani

Queens of the mountain

Donut Lake in the distance

Fishing again, "Let's see how many we can catch"

Cute little baby crawdad

After only 1 hour, 97 baby crawdads

Daddy's here! Now the real fun begins

Chad and Ashley came for the weekend to join in on the fun.

Hailee and Cozy

Must take dad fishing for crawdads too

I've always wanted 2 of me...always on the lookout...

This was soooo fun! The kids would push this up the mountain a little ways and then jump in and roll with it, like little hamsters. Best roller coaster ever!

Sweet little munchkin City kids! Can't stay away from movies for too long :)

My favorite thing to do up at the cabin is go to Greens Peak. Growing up, I loved these trips. We would go to the lookout tower and then run down the mountain as fast as we could. We would even knock down trees, (that were dying)

And we're off... WAAHOOHOOEEE! Here I come!

Come on, come on! What's the hold up?

Now, we're talkin! Go Hailee! You can't tell, but she's in the air jumping, or leaping...

Poor Sadie twisted her ankle, so we took it slow after that and enjoyed the walk. She's a trooper and made it down. Griffin, Piper, Cozy, Hailee and Tyson playing Harry Potter

Tyson found a Frog!

Picking strawberries

We made it out alive :)

Which reminds me, when we started down the mountain, we were a talking about all the animals that could be in these woods, and tried to make some noise, to maybe scare any off. Steve got a bright idea to sneak around and scare everyone. I noticed he was gone and I hung back to watch this scene unfold. I wished I would've had the camera. Next to the trail, there was rustling and then pounding footsteps coming straight for them, along with a growl. Ashley turned around face pale, they all started screaming and running for me. Ashley is screaming "Where's Steve, where's Steve...Why are you laughing???" I don't think I've ever seen her so scared. :)